CREDIT
I am Sherlocked
Nicole |16 | Poet | Vlogger

listen: there’s a hell
of a good universe next door; let’s go



Currently Reading:

We
by Yevgeny Zamyatin

giantsquidofawesome:

today is april 23, which is 65 days since february 16, aka the last time i cut myself. before this time period of being clean, my record was 64 days. so my record is now broken.

at this point, i am doing this 99% for my friends, boyfriend, and family, and honestly all i want to do is go back to it. i have trouble actually seeing it as wrong, since it brought me so much happiness and such a sense of success. but it hurts the people i love, and i refuse to lose them because of this.

i’m positive that i’m gonna have a massive crying fest all day, and probably minor crying fests for the next few forevers. one day i’ll hopefully be happy about all of this. i just have to wait for that day to come.

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wordsovertears:

E.K. // imagining the future and not knowing what to expect

(National Poetry Month Day 23 // Prompted poem 16/52)

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He was loving right up until the second he wasn’t.

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Apr 23rd / 662 notes / via / src

today is april 23, which is 65 days since february 16, aka the last time i cut myself. before this time period of being clean, my record was 64 days. so my record is now broken.

at this point, i am doing this 99% for my friends, boyfriend, and family, and honestly all i want to do is go back to it. i have trouble actually seeing it as wrong, since it brought me so much happiness and such a sense of success. but it hurts the people i love, and i refuse to lose them because of this.

i’m positive that i’m gonna have a massive crying fest all day, and probably minor crying fests for the next few forevers. one day i’ll hopefully be happy about all of this. i just have to wait for that day to come.

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Apr 23rd / 37 notes
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Apr 22nd / 20,158 notes / via / src

midnights on a mountain

wordsovertears:

when i dove off a cliff for the first time,
i wasn’t aware that the force of gravity applied to me.
somehow,
i assumed i would float at the same elevation,
only to look down at the earth,
so damn magnificent,
from above.

but falling is inevitable
and i hit the ground within seconds,
emerging with nothing but naive cuts all over my body.
i became well acquainted with the fate of being trapped.
i learned that rock climbing
was one of the greatest ventures of a lifetime.
when i finally reached the top,
i was still covered with wounds too many,
more exhausted than i had ever been before.

when i dove off a cliff for the second time,
i forgot about the impending collision
and only remembered
the exhilaration of falling 
and the adventure of climbing.
the impact was no less gruesome than it had been before.
once more,
i fought my way back towards higher ground.

when i dove off a cliff for the third, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh time,
i did so with a chorus of people behind me,
all begging me to just stay with them,
but i was too much of a rebel to listen.
the sun from above was starting to torture my eyes
and though i cherished the faces staring desperately back at me,
i jumped so i could preserve my dying vision.

before i dove off a cliff for the eighth time,
the number of ones i loved
was beginning to diminish;
they could not watch me crumble forever.
for the first time,
i turned my back from the sun
and sprinted so quickly
so i could hold your hand,
before you had time to accept
that i had become an abyss
as deep as the gorge i had deemed my home.

every night,
i still revisit the cliff that once revitalized my life
and nearly ended it.
i sit with my feet hanging off the edge,
letting the wind dictate the sway of my body.
but after 65 seemingly endless midnights,
i have not once stuck around long enough
to watch the sunrise in the morning
while overlooking hell.

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